Slow Progress

I have a long way to go, and now have to take medications I would have never dreamed of.
I still dont feel right, or like myself at all. But with the help of this new Doctor, who is considerate of my situation, I am trying to have faith that I will get better soon.
Still havent laughed, or felt joy, waiting for the antidepressant to kick in, pray it helps soon. I am still shaking, and having tremors at this high dose of meds, which indicates to me that there is more to this, but without resources and insurance there is nothing more I can do. Still not feeling so great, not myself, but a little better, and sleeping more. Going to have to talk to Doctor next week appt. not sure how the antidepressent can work when the zyprexa blocks serotonin?
I keep praying I will wake up, and this was all a bad dream, but it is my life, and I need help so desperatly! 3/12/09 125 days today! God Help Me!