Lost cause?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Lost cause?
Dear Dr. Phil, *emailed show today Feb 21st, 09
is my situation so unusual that is why the doctor I've seen dont know how to help me or what to check for?Something horrible happend to me when I had a severe/adverse allergic reaction to something, that effecting me so badly that it destroyed my life. So, aside from a psychiatrist who is giving me 60 mg's of valium a day that is barely sustaining me for some odd reason, I am not getting any other treatment. I still cant laugh, smile, have no desire, no joy, no sense of fun or happiness, still cant read, watch tv, and nothing seems to make sense.The odd heightened horrible state is brimming below the surface at all times even on this high dose of valium I am on. My brain literally shook in my head all those weeks, and it seems nothing can be done, but try to sedate me, which isnt working anyway.If the high dose of 60 mg's of valium were just to treat anxiety, wouldnt I then feel calm and some of my normal emotions come back while taking it?
***** My sweet wonderful daughter who excels in school, is a student body officer, and taking college classes as well at the age 0f 16 took an overdose the other night of midol because of the stress over me. She was treated and released from the hospital, but she is not okay, and this isnt fair to her. I dont know what to do. My whole family is in turmoil, and my condition is effecting them so badly. My sweet daughter has basically lost her mother, I am not the same person at all. I was always there to talk with her, laugh, have our tv night, go shopping, have lunch together, etc. But my joy sensors, and other sensors like being able to relate to others, or follow a conversation, and even have empathy, are dead, or asleep. I hope the latter, and that someone can help me, or know someone who can, and that it might still be possible for me to get my self back! If anyone had any idea how awful it feels to be me right now, I doubt they would want to live another day, esp after going through this and waiting to get well and return since this began on 11/7/08. I hate the person this change has made me into. I am hanging on by a thread, just hoping by some miracle and the Grace of God that there is still hope for me! I used to be the one everyone went to rent a movie with. I cooked dinner, danced and cleaned. It is all gone, I am gone, and my brain finds no point in anything. I have this awful feeling of not wanting to be in my own mind and body any longer. I couldnt have ever imagined before 11/7/08 that such feeling could exist in anyone! Lord, Rescue me (and my family) from this. My children have lost their mother, you wouldnt even believe I am the same person I was before I had the reaction. If I could have my brain back, my good emotions, feelings, and the real me back, that is ALL I want! God I pray someone you know can help. I cant fix this, or me, on my own. There is something very off in my brain and body.Something went terribly wrong when I took that pill. Our home is not a happy place any longer because of me. And no where is a happy place for me, as I don’t have that emotion any longer. Praying to hear from you soon! Hanging on by a thin thread!Sincerely, If you know of any Christian psychiatrists in SLC area, please email me at mjstac@comcast.net